Doppelgänger: Seth MacFarlane v. Sam Bradford

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane

St. Louis Ram QB Sam Bradford

 

more double takes... 

Still Miles To Go

It's going to be hard for the typical LeBron-hater to keep that lump out of his throat. That's if the Miami Heat continue in the playoffs as they are.

Philadelphia put up as much fight as they could, but the Heat waxed them in the first round, four games to one. Fans and analysts tried to poke at LeBron and Dwyane Wade that week. It wasn't easy to criticize.

The NBA Playoffs are strange, as are all postseasons in all sports. Usually it's because of TV contracts. Games get spaced out by three, four, or even five days. Athletes lose something when their season-long routine is disrupted. In baseball it's very evident, because up until the playoffs, the players are working nearly every day. Even the viewer can see that the alignment is off, so obviously the athletes feel it.

Other than the surging Memphis Grizzlies, the Heat are the only team who seem unaffected by the schedule shifts. They have taken a 2-0 lead on the Celtics as the second round series goes back to Boston. All of them are in tune on the court and in the press room.

James and Wade stood together for a press conference before that Game 2 win, saying that being on the dais together saved time. But it was an unspoken message about their current solidarity. "Our job is to bring out the best in each other," Wade said.

That is bad news for those who hated this so-called super team from day one. The guard is changing.

Dream Journal: Torso

I'm lying in bed, unable to sleep. [In the dream.] I try to kick off the covers and get up. Maybe I'll do some chores... But my legs don't work. I can't move.

Starting to get scared. I'm hitting my legs through the blanket with my fists. I don't feel anything. I am screaming for help but I live alone. It's 3 a.m. No one can hear me.

With a great deal of pain and effort I pull myself to a sitting position. Are... are my legs getting longer?? No. My legs are gone. Separated from my body. This can't be happening.

I turn on the lamplight. Yes. My legs are under the covers, alone. There is no blood. No mess at all. Holding my breath, I lift the blanket, trying to ignore my rootless buttocks. My thighs are looking back at me, the femur bone and flesh neatly cut like a cartoon. From this angle, they look like two big Flintstone steaks.

Somehow I am calm, now that I see the situation. I look over to the nightstand. There is a kind of soil in a jar. I somehow know that this is what I need... I stand my legs up next to the bed. They wobble but stay vertical. Never noticed that scar before. I sprinkle the soil on the exposed flesh at the top of my thighs. The legs start to shake.

Maybe I passed out for a moment. The legs are back under the covers, attaching to me... it feels like a weird massage, but inside the flesh.